Mom Rage
Mom Rage Is Real — And You’re Not a Monster
You thought you’d be tired, maybe a little weepy, but no one told you about the anger.
That heat rising in your chest when the baby won’t nap, the dog won’t stop barking, the dishes are still piled up, and your partner is taking a “quick” break that’s somehow stretched into 45 minutes. It’s not just frustration. It’s rage. And then — just as quickly — the shame floods in.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
You’re not broken.
And you’re definitely not a bad mom.
What Is Mom Rage?
Mom rage is intense anger that often feels out of proportion to what’s happening in the moment. It can show up as yelling, snapping, slamming doors, or even just shutting down completely. Most moms who experience it don’t feel proud of it — they feel horrified. But the truth is, this kind of rage usually points to something deeper: overwhelm, unmet needs, exhaustion, and emotional overload.
It’s not about the spilled snack cup.
It’s about being touched out, under-supported, and never getting a moment to yourself.
Why It Happens
Mom rage is a signal — not a flaw. It often stems from:
Sleep deprivation
Sensory overload (noise, touch, chaos)
Postpartum mood disorders (especially anxiety and depression)
Unrealistic expectations (hello, Instagram motherhood)
Resentment from unequal labor in the home
Emotional labor fatigue (keeping track of everything all the time)
Lack of support or time for yourself
For some, it’s also connected to past trauma or the reactivation of old wounds — especially if you grew up around anger or silence.
You’re Not a Bad Mom — You’re a Burnt-Out One
Let’s be clear: feeling rage doesn’t make you dangerous or abusive.
It means your nervous system is in fight-or-flight mode. You're not just mad — you’re dysregulated.
The problem is, our culture doesn’t leave much room for mothers to have needs, let alone big emotions. And when you add in the pressure to “savor every moment,” it’s a recipe for internal implosion.
What You Can Do About It
There’s no quick fix — but there are ways to reduce mom rage and reconnect with yourself:
Name it without shame. “I’m feeling ragey right now” is better than pretending everything’s fine.
Take space when you can. Even 5 minutes of alone time can regulate your nervous system.
Lower the bar. Are your expectations for yourself rooted in reality… or Pinterest?
Move your body. Rage wants to move — even pacing or shaking your hands out can help.
Talk to someone. Therapy can help you unpack the deeper layers of anger and give you tools to cope.
Check for PMADs. Anger is a key (and often overlooked) sign of postpartum depression and anxiety.
If You’ve Snapped, You Can Repair
Yelling doesn’t make you a terrible mom — but repairing matters. Apologize, reconnect, and remind your child (and yourself) that we all make mistakes. What your child needs most is not a perfect parent — it’s a safe, attuned one who can say “I’m sorry” and model growth.
Final Thought: You Don’t Have to White-Knuckle It
If you're in the season of whisper-yelling through gritted teeth and hating the sound of your own voice, you're not the only one.
Mom rage isn’t something to be ashamed of.
It’s something to listen to.
It’s your system saying: Something needs to change.
And you deserve support as you figure out what that is.
Want to talk about it?
As a perinatal psychologist, I help moms process the big feelings of this messy, beautiful season. You can reach out at healingclovercounseling.com or find me on Instagram @healing_clover_counseling.